The River

A growth-edge worksheet

Find where you are on the river today. Notice the edges. Practice one small return to flow.

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The river is the flow of your life moving through you — sensation, feeling, thought, choice. When you're in it, you can stay present with what's happening: feel, think, choose, connect. This is Dan Siegel's window of tolerance.

The flooded edge is hyperarousal — when your nervous system pushes upward into fight, flight, fury, panic, overwhelm. You're past the bank, in the heat.

The frozen edge is hypoarousal — when your nervous system collapses downward into shutdown, numbness, dissociation, disconnect. You're past the bank, in the cold.

The growth edge is the shoreline itself — not the bank, not the deep middle of the river. It's the place where, with support, you can stretch your window a little wider. Healing happens here, in small repeated returns, not in dramatic breakthroughs. Thirty seconds longer than last time is real change.

Where am I on the river today?
Drag the boat to where you actually are right now. Anywhere on the river, on either bank, or right at a growth edge.
flooded edge hyperarousal · fight · flight · fury · panic · overwhelm the window where you can stay present · feel · think · choose · connect frozen edge hypoarousal · shutdown · numb · collapse · disconnect growth edge → growth edge → you, today
Drag the boat to where you are.
1. What pulled me toward the edge today?
What was the situation, the trigger, the moment? Just the facts — what happened that started pushing your boat off-center.
2. What did I notice in my body, before I knew what was happening?
The body knows before the mind does. Heat, tightness, sinking, racing, numbness, freezing, fluttering. Name what you noticed — even faintly.
3. What returned me — even a little — to the river?
A breath, a word, looking out the window, calling someone, feet on the floor, a hand on the chest, a slow drink of water. What gave you even 5% more presence?
4. What's my growth edge today?
One small stretch — the just-outside-comfort thing — you could practice next time. Not the heroic version. The 30-seconds-longer version. ("Stay with the sadness for three breaths." "Tell one person I'm not okay." "Notice the urge to scroll without acting on it.")